So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
