Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
