Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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