Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
