Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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