After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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