my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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