good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
