i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Sober January is a disaster.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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