College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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