found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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