sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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