i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
