i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
