omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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