Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
