You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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