dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm too high and old for this...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
