Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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