member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize