if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
