I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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