We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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