That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
