We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
