Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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