so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize