Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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