Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
