no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
