Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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