Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
