Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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