We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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