Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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