If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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