so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
