I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
