walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
