I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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