you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize