so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
one two three fourrrrnication!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there's paper in my vomit.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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