Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
