4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
grandma shit on top of the toilet
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
