great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
