PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
