one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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