I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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