I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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