Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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