Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
