My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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