y did u give ur computer a hand job?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
