Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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