i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
