It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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