Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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