My nipple is on Facebook.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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