dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
