out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
3 2 1 whiskey
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize